Chapter 13
I am now convinced that Jonathan has gone crazy—totally! How’s he not?
Out of the blue, he tells me he loves me then he kisses me? Isn’t that crazy?
Okay~ actually, that kinda sent a pleasant tingling feeling throughout my body and the butterflies are still dancing somewhere in my tummy. But…I’m not really sure if he’s serious. How would I know? The moment he pulled away, the first thing that came into my mind was to run—and I did! Well, he can’t be serious…right?
Ahhhhhh~ this is so frustrating!
But in fairness, that made me think. I have been feeling weird about him and…do I love him too? Oh my…this makes things even more complicated. We’re both about to get married, and we just have to meet now.
I wonder how Jonathan is. Ever since that night, I haven’t gone out of my room. I don’t worry much about him, since he can live by himself. But, thinking of how I ran and well…he did try to talk to me, but I ignored him. Thinking about it—that was pretty embarrassing, whether he was just playing with me or not.
But that’s too much! He kissed me! That’s not an acceptable behavior. I’m not an easy girl.
Knock…knock…knock…
“Tiffany?” came Jonathan’s voice through the door. Wow, I missed that voice—it’s been two days after all. 2 days, oh my, today’s Christmas day.
“Uh, yea?” I replied, still lying on my bed.
“Can…can we talk?”
Lub-dub…lub-dub. Where’s that sound coming from?
After a whole minute of silence, I decided to well… “Sure, come in.” I sat up, fixing myself.
The door opened slowly and when Jonathan appeared in my vision, I couldn’t feel my heart anymore. Has it already left me? I’m feeling different; like this is the first time I’ve seen him in…years.
“Hi” he greeted; his shyness was refreshing and it’s really cute.
“Uh, hi.” Feeling like an idiot waving, I gestured him to the chair beside my bed, “Sit down.”
As he was slowly walking to the chair, the air between us tensed, “Hey! This is your house, why are you waiting for me to tell you to sit down?” I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. He just smiled and I felt my cheeks heat, there goes his effect on me again.
Looking around, my eyes fell on the item that Jonathan was holding—I tried hard not to ask him what was inside it.
As if he heard me, he lifted the wrapped box to my eye level and smiled shyly, “Merry Christmas.”
“Oh!” well, that was a surprise. I pointed to myself, “That for me?” of course not! It’s for the pillow behind you, stupid. He just looked at me with a ‘she misplaced her brain, again’ expression on his face. Punching myself internally, I faked a laugh, “HAHA. Ah, yea. Thanks.” I said as he handed me the gift. Darn it! I wasn’t able to make him something.
“Uh, sorry I don’t have anything to give you.” Maybe I’ll make him something before this day ends.
“That’s alright. Well, it’s not like you can buy me something…right?” he smiled, I think I smiled too…but I think that came out as a grimace, I feel bad not being able to give him anything. I’ll really make something for him, later. Maybe a card…yea…a card.
Awkward silence filled the space around us as we sat motionless. I wanted to open the gift, but was embarrassed to do it in-front of him.
“You can open that now, you know.” He said, breaking the silence.
“Uh, yea. Maybe later.”
He just nodded. Then he rubbed the back of his head shyly, “By the way, I’m sorry for the way acted the other night.”
I just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. But seeing that he was waiting for me to say something…I sighed. “Why, though? I mean, why did you do that?”
“D-do I have to repeat what I said that night?” he was blushing furiously and gosh…
“What?”
“Tiffany, I said I love you. You’re thinking that I was just fooling around, right?”
I shrugged, “It’s not like you can blame me.”
He grinned, I knew it! “Well, yea. I can’t. But really, I’m serious.”
“Oh c’mon.”
“Tiffany, please, let me explain.”
“Ok. Shoot.”
“Well, you see. Well actually…”
“Straight to the point.”
He sighed, “Actually, I haven’t been in-love yet.”
“Seriously? I mean, yea. I know you haven’t had a girlfriend yet…but, oh c’mon. Not even in high school?”
He shook his head, “Never. I never really bothered to. At such a young age, my parents has already briefed me about my future and I set my mind to that so that I wouldn’t be distracted…and true to that, I wasn’t distracted. Not even once…not even in high school.
“I would admire pretty ladies, flirt, but I wouldn’t date. I never dated-seriously-, because I trained myself not to, I even trained myself not to even like so that I wouldn’t be tempted to date.”
I just stared at him, dumb-founded. “You’re kinda weird. You aware of that?”
“I told you I’m a good boy and obedient.”
“Right. so?”
“Uh” his blushing is so adorable…awwww~ “Ok, right. So, yea. I haven’t, have never been in-love yet…so I don’t know how to confess or whatever. And…”
“And?”
He’s blushing so hard right now that I just wanted to hug the life out of him. It’s so adorable.
“The kiss…”
“What about it?” I know he’s just going to apologize, I just wanted to say something. Teehee.
“That…that’s my first.”
I don’t know when my mouth fell open but it did. Ok, I know he hasn’t had a girlfriend and have never dated…but me being his first kiss? Oh c’mon! That’s part of flirting…well, I think.
“What?!”
“That still surprised you? Uh, NGSB and never dated?”
“Yea, but…isn’t that part of flirting?”
“Well, I think that depends on what kind of a flirt you are. And I’m not that kind of flirt who kisses anything that has lips.”
“Uhhh~” what am I suppose to say? Goodness, Jonathan really is full of surprises.
He cleared his throat, “So, uh, yea. I just came here to apologize, explain, and give you your gift.” He stood up, I did the same.
“Know what, I’m sorry too.” I said.
“For what?”
“For running away.”
“I think that was just a normal reaction.”
“Yea, I think it is. But, well…I’m just sorry. Jonathan~”
He smiled, “If you’re sorry about not being able to reciprocate my feelings—that’s alright. I mean, I’m not asking you to feel the same for me. I just wanted to tell you how I feel. You know what, I never thought falling in-love could feel this good.”
He chuckled, “Sorry for being a bit cheesy, it’s just that…this is all new to me. The feeling’s just so strong that sometimes I’m not aware of what I’m saying or doing, anymore.” He just nodded, “Well, I’ll leave you to rest now. I think I bothered you long enough, whatever you’re doing.”
Jonathan was just walking out the door when I walked to him and held his hand, “Wait!”
“Uh, yea?”
“I’m…I’m just curious.”
“About?”
“Well…” am I really going to ask this? Here goes nothing. “How…how about your marriage?”
He smiled, a bit wider, and held my hand tighter. “You know…this feeling that’s taking over me now is making me want to disobey my parents and just stay with you. Tiffany, I have never felt this way before. I might make rash decisions now that I might regret later, but right now…I don’t care.”
“Jon~”
He gave my hand a light squeeze then let it go, “Tiffany, you don’t have worry about returning the feelings…really. I just wanted to tell you this. So, yea. Don’t feel so bad, don’t deny it…I can see it in your face.”
“Jonathan, it’s not that.”
“Then what?”
“Well…”
“Sir Lee?” said a voice from the kitchen. I was frightened but when Jonathan patted my head, I relaxed.
“Relax, it’s just Albert.”
“Oh, haha, of course.” I frowned at him, “Has it already been 2 weeks since he was here?”
“I don’t remember” he replied, “But I think he’s here because it’s Christmas.”
“Oh, right.”
“Yea, I’ll just go to the kitchen.” He walked out, “You coming?”
“Uh, nah…don’t think so. I’ll just stay here. Just call me when you need me.”
He just nodded and continued walking to the kitchen.
“Happy Christmas Sir!” Albert greeted.
“Happy Christmas to you too, Albert. So…” I didn’t hear the rest because I closed the door, letting them talk in private.
What am I supposed to do? I think I’m feeling the same for him, but I’m not really sure. Well, he does give me pleasant tingling feelings…so…oh my goodness. Dunno what to do. Should I tell him that I feel for him too? But if I did, what will happen to us? Will we be in a relationship, or we’ll stay as we are—letting the feelings float amidst us? If ever we’ll be in a relationship…what will happen when we go home to our families? Or are we still going to plan to go home? If we’ll just stay as we are…isn’t it going to be awkward? How will we deal with each other?
***
Seeing the dark outside, I think it’s safe to go out now….and I think Albert left already—since it’s already late.
“Jonathan?” I called out, walking towards the living room.
“Oh Tiffany!” he exclaimed, emerging from the couch. “How was your rest?”
“Ah, good.” Liar. I didn’t even rest, and nothing’s good. “Albert left already?”
“Yea, just an hour ago.” He sat up, “Did you want to ask something from him?”
I shook my head, “None. I just…well, what are you watching?” changing the topic, I went to sit to the opposite side of the couch where he was sitting—it was closer to where I was standing.
He shrugged and pressed play on the remote, “Just a random movie that I picked and didn’t check on the title.” He looked at me, “Want to watch it with me?”
Shrugging, “Ah, yea, sure.” He was grinning, that means something. I moved back a bit, not being obvious as he pressed pause before it showed the DVD menu.
“Great, Popcorn.”
What? Popcorn? Now he has a pet name for me? He’s really weird. I raised an eyebrow, “Popcorn?”
He nodded, “Yea, Albert brought some. It’s microwavable—no need to worry about burning anything.”
The heat in my cheeks was so hot that I can feel it spreading throughout my body and the color that’s flooding my face is very obvious—Jonathan’s facial expression was a confirmation.
“Ah, Tiffany…is something wrong?”
I don’t know why, and how, but I gave him a death glare before standing up to go to the kitchen without saying anything. “Canned soft drinks in the refrigerator.”
I sighed and did as I was ordered. I was just about to complain and rant to myself when I realized something—if he keeps up like this…I guess we won’t be having problems and won’t be awkward with each other. I hope so.
“Tiffany! I’ll press play in 3 minutes!” Jonathan called from the living room. I’m already irritated, but the feeling of relief is much stronger. I’d prefer him being bossy and demanding, than be awkward with him ‘til we part ways.
“You can press play now, I won’t mind.” I said, loud enough for him to hear.
“You sure?”
“Yea.”
“Okay.”
It hasn’t even been a minute since I heard the TV, Jonathan was already standing next to me…panting and HAHA, he looks funny.
“Ah…” I just looked at him, controlling my laughter, “Do I need to guess what movie did you randomly picked out?”
He shook his head, “Wh…why would you do that? I’m not scared! I was just…thirsty.” He went to the fridge and drank directly from the pitcher, “That’s disgusting.” I informed him, trying hard not to laugh, “And I didn’t say anything about you being scared”. The screams and scary horror sounds from the DVD menu was still on and I can see Jonathan still shivering.
“How about we change the movie?” I suggested, feeling him felt at ease a bit.
“Yea, I think that’s better. I’ve watched that movie already, not good.”
“Oh? Really?” I smiled, “Go and change the movie, while I fix up our snacks.”
“A-aren’t you coming with me?”
“Fixing our snacks.”
He held my hand tightly and pulled me to the living room. He immediately shut the TV and opened the DVD player, “You choose. You’re the guest.” He said, smiling. Yea, right.
“How about Nightmare on Elm Street?”
I was just reaching for the DVD when he glared at me then pushed me a bit far from the said movie, “I think you should go back onto checking the snacks…I’ll choose the movie.”
“Ok, dear” as I said it, I heard a few DVDs fall onto the floor. I think I can win this time.
“Sure thing, hon. Stay sweet and serve our snacks fresh and hot with your love.”
I heard him chuckle, but I ignored him and placed the popcorn inside the microwave. That was pretty…urrgh.
I wonder if Jonathan’s aware of his multiple personality disorder. His mood and attitude swings are a bit scary—and it makes him confusing. I guess I should ask Albert about that, on his next visit.
As the popcorn finished popping; I took it out of the microwave, transferred it into a bowl, pulled two canned sodas from the fridge, and walked back to the living room.
“What movie did you choose?” I asked him as I sat down in the same couch he was sitting—just a bit farther.
“Hmmm…Somewhere in Time.” He replied, shrugging.
I smiled, “Never thought you were the gushy type.”
He cocked and eyebrow.
“Uh, sentimental.” I handed him the bowl of popcorn.
“Come closer.”
I felt my eyes bulge out of my sockets as he patted the space beside him. “Here”
As I froze and stared blankly at nothing, he grunted and reached for the bowl. “Place the popcorn here.” He shook his head, “You look like you just saw a horror movie.”
Shoot! I’m becoming paranoid. Jonathan just said that he loved me, why am I acting and thinking like this? It’s not like he’s doing things to, well…freak me out.
“Are you going to watch the movie and eat popcorn, or are you just gonna death glare the floor?”
Sighing, I sat closer to him, took a handful of popcorn, and shoved it into my mouth.
He chuckled, “Hungry much?”
“I don’t…”
“Kidding” I looked at him to see him smiling. Can I…
“Jonathan?”
“Hmmm?”
“I…”
I looked at his eyes, to his lips, then back to his eyes, “I…”
He stared expectantly, “You?”
“I…” no, no, no! I’m just…Gyaaa~ my eyes went to his lips again. Stop it Tiffany! Stop looking at his lips.
“Uh…Tiffany?” Jonathan was looking at me; he was obviously trying hard not to smirk. I guess my lip-looking wasn’t…discreet.
I shook my head, “No, nothing.” I waved my hand in dismissal then gestured at the TV, “The movie’s starting.”
I can still feel him staring at me, but I ignored it…though I wasn’t comfortable.
“You were looking at my lips.” It was a statement. Gosh I’m glad my heart wasn’t doing anything that might kill me. Actually, I can’t feel it anymore. Is this his effect on me? Most likely.
“Excuse me?” I need to save my dignity!
“Tiffany~”
“What? What are you talking about?”
Jonathan was moving closer…closer. He placed the popcorn bowl on the table and moved even closer to me.
“Jonathan, what are you doing?”
“What is it do you think am I doing?”
He moved even more closer that we were almost touching. I pushed him violently then stood up, “You’re crazy!”
“About you.”
Grabbing whatever was behind me (Great! A book!) I threw it to him while he was laughing. I ignored his protests as I went to my room.
As I walked to my bed, I saw the Christmas card that I made for him while he was busy talking with Albert. Jonathan was knocking on my door and protesting. I slid the card under the door to shut him up—and it did.
Jonathan really is crazy…and now I think that he’s also possessed by some lovesick ghost.